The Chicks’ Jerk: a super-classy bachelorette party VHS!
The President and board members of The Bouillon Cube Karate Club are honored to present the six winners selected for the Chicks with Three Katas special Summer 2026 lineup.
Event sponsored by The Chicks’ Jerk. Following the major « Chorégraphie Cocottes » competi-tion, six chicks are vying for the top spot on the podium.
The Chicks’ Jerk: asuper-classy hens VHS! The Chicks’ Jerk on VHS (Voiceless Hens Show). Six ultra-chic chicks, all dressed in their finest feathers and enclosed within a coded enveloppe!
Pre-codified movements and the substitution of the karatekas’ full names with these codes ensure the jury’s complete impartiality. Thus, each identity finds itself encased in a codified shell as surely as the athletes in their soap bubble like aeronautical helmet and their kimono-style suits.
APOLOGIES
The jury wishes to apologize on behalf of two of the top winners in the « height » and « width » categories, who had to be disqualified from the « chicken bouillon cube » podium.
Chicken bouillon cube: a curated selection of eight, minus two disqualified for celebrating before the end of the contest—the first for appearing almost entirely naked and dancing instead of demonstrating her karate skills, the second for having used a levitation power worthy of a ninja endowed with extraterrestrial psychic-chick gifts.
The former was disqualified for misbehavior—and not merely for failing to follow protocol: initiating a mock Capoeira-style warm-up dance is very disrespectful—while the later faced severe sanctions for using illegal alien psychic techniques.
Dedicated to Katerine, Poulet N. 728 120, album Les creatures, Barclay, 1999.
* She danced to Joyce Moreno’s ‘Aquarius,’ which annoyed the judges and contributed to her disqualification, given that the official music was supposed to be a tribute to Philippe Katerine’s song ‘Poulet’. We later learn that this choice was not only a feminist statement but also stemmed from the contestant’s extraterrestrial origins. We also learn that the contestant was not ‘nearly naked’ but clad in a shell that mimicked human contours—for had she been naked, she would have appeared as an octopus rather than a humanoid chicken. Such is the state of poetry today, influenced by AI. In this respect, her ‘leotard’ wasn’t all that different from those of the other contestants, all of whom were extraterrestrial bombshells. She alone will remain excluded—disqualified due to a diplomatic faux pas—since capoeira is the war chant of that motley crew of extraterrestrial pseudo-chicks and very real, invasive octopuses of visual poetry.
Watch out—Earth is being overrun by highly viral octopuses. Watch out! Watch out! WATCH OUT… After the invasion of word-based poetry by *cocottes*, it is the turn of poetry made of images and objects to be infiltrated by a Trojan horse.
After the poetry of words was invaded by paper fortune-tellers, it is now the turn of the poetry of images and objects to be infiltrated by a Trojan horse—or, more precisely, by a Mothership teeming with octopuses possessing a vivid, choreographic semantics.
Clad in a futuristic outfit of breathtaking flexibility and wearing a helmet molded to accommodate brains with extraordinary psychic powers, these extraterrestrial-looking creatures possess a pervasive presence that moves so rapidly it can be glimpsed in two different places at the same instant. Add to that a pair of incredibly adaptable gloves—featuring numerous controls that provide access to various additional special weapons—and you have the perfect space-age capoeira warrior.
The movements of these supple, skintight suits are controlled by AI; they adapt to various planets and take on the shapes of the creatures inhabiting them—withstanding everything from acids and toxic vapors to lightning and crushing pressure. When the creatures emerge from their suits, they enter a large reservoir—apparently their spacecraft—which is essentially a shell with the same capacity as the suits themselves (from which they actually originated). Once inside this mother-shell, the creatures float like octopuses in a gas of constantly shifting colors.
Clad in form-fitting futuristic attire and equipped with truly unique psychic weapons, these six aliens chicks masterfully executed a series of daring intergalactic capoeira moves.
Beware: Earth is being overrun by highly viral octopuses. After being invaded by the spaceships of the Academy of Letters and the orbital stations of the CNL, language shifted from patriarchal semen to the realm of the image—and the clades linked to the primal matrix, a forbidden zone.
Four stylized, angular cartoon characters—three young men and one young woman—stand in the foreground with their backs to the viewer, facing a sprawling cityscape cloaked in gently drifting fog; a fifth character, previously in the background, steps forward and offers a joint to ease the tension.
Dragon Scale Handbag. In a deviant art style, a lovelorn suitor (Dick Brainer) kidnaps a female comic book character and whisks her away on a scooter, but there he is double-crossed by his beloved (Marge Simpson) who flee with a second smitten suitor, whom she will also betray later! What reader could reasonably claim to be the one and only person to have been seduced by Marge? A motto among fans—a one among us—in the rearview mirror. Man or woman, it’s up to each of us to kidnap this beloved comic book character in turn by contributing to this series of lovesick suitors! Our motto could be: “Rapt her with your scoot!” or “Ravish her on your scooter!” (“MS on my scoot,” MS ‘o’ MS.) So, who’s up for a wild chase in a shower of Smarties? It is also up to you, fans of Marge and other fanziners on deviantart or on your own sites (Discord, WordPress and so), to find a funny motto.
One, two, three, green dragon! Editor’s note: Florent Saltino’s “The Green Dragon and the Trash Can of Love,” a pastiche published in 2014 by the micro-publishing house Téci, will not be reissued.
